May 29, 2010
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I realized tonight as I was speaking that I'm not so much afraid of failure as I am mediocrity. I'm not a failure. I'm just not great.
More than anything in the world I want to be a good writer, and no amount of praise will make me one. I want to not write shit.
I don't write nearly as much as I want to and I can't convince myself to change. Just a dry spell? How do I fix it?
I feel the world just as intensely as I used to, I'm just not motivated to WORK anymore. And that scares me. That, Sharla, is why you're scared. You want to be something but you've lost your drive.
I want to show you the great and wonderful things that go on in my heart and my brain but I just don't feel like working for it. I'm lazy.This is likely why I'm so angry at my brother lately.
Comments (1)
mediocre is by design defined by the majority. thanks to a large spread of skills and talents though its not hard finding "exceptional" persons as long as theyre all good at different things. No drive means you really dont want it at all. I hope maybe youll just go to bed andw ake up one day feeling again the things you need to do the things you want. Good luck!
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