November 30, 2010

  • What I can't figure out is why I would keep waking up full of dread when there's nothing to be dreading. I can understand in the height of a semester surrounded by responsibilities, but why now? When everything is pretty much finished?

    So I lie in bed wracking my brain to figure out what I could possibly be stressed about, and everything I can come up with is so little. Maybe deserving of a little stress, just enough to get things done, but not crippling stay-in-bed stress.

    And this time I can't even think of an overarching reason that I'd be unhappy. I'm not unhappy, quite the opposite, really. I'm the happiest I ever remember being. Consistently comfortable and safe.

    So why the anxiety this morning?  Why the nightmares last week? 
    Basically what this is telling me is that my stress has been something internal all along.  Not that I really needed to be told that.

    The only thing to be done at this point is to get out of bed and ignore it until it goes away.